Is This "The One"? Choosing the Right Mate
Janice Allen
6:36 p.m. EDT, October 28, 2011
GRAND RAPIDS, Mich.—
Mr. Right. A Soulmate. ‘The One’.
No matter what you call it, chances are you or someone you know is on a mission to find the right mate.
According to the U.S. Census Bureau, there are more than 99 million unmarried Americans. That’s 44 percent of the adult population.
The quest to find love is big business on dating websites and the subject of songs, movies, and hit reality TV shows.
Is there a formula to follow when it comes to finding and picking your perfect partner? FOX 17 took that question to longtime matchmaker Kim Kanoza. Kanoza has been in the business of matching singles for over 20 years and currently serves as the executive director of Matchmaker Michigan.
“There is a lid to go with every pot, I soley believe it,” said Kanoza. “I’ve believed it as long as I’ve been doing this job.”
Kanoza spends her time consulting with people looking for love. She matches them up with other singles based on what qualities and values they’re looking for. With hundreds of success stories under her belt, she has some advice on what to look for in a lifelong partner.
*Be Realistic About What’s Really Out There:
“We all kind of grew up around Cinderella. We read the fairy tales about Prince Charming, our knight in shining armor, well that’s not really how it ends,” Kanoza told FOX 17. “There’s not always gonna be the 6’4 guy that comes along, the tall dark guy that sweeps you off your feet.”
*Know What You Want:
“When it comes to finding a futuristic mate, you have to have some kind of ideal guy or girl that you’re looking for,” said Kanoza. She added that means taking into account more than the superficial traits you desire in a potential mate.
*Know What You Need:
“The reality of it is, what’s going to make you happy? A lifelong partner, someone monogamous, somebody stable in their environment financially?” explained Kanoza. She advises listing out personality traits and other items that may be deal breakers (i.e. different religion, morals, family values)
*Be Open to Your Opposite:
You know the saying opposites attract? Kanoza says there’s truth to that. “To a degree, I think opposites can attract because it’s intriguing to us. We can be kind of curious…they’re different than me, let me kind of pursue that, see where it goes.”
*Recognize A Lack Of Instant Chemistry Doesn’t Mean A Lack Of Long Term Compatibility
“The chemistry doesn’t come on the first date always,” said Kanoza. “It may not come on the second date, nor sometimes the third or the fourth.”
*Know YOURSELF
The number one thing Kanoza says to evaluate before choosing a mate is yourself. She says, “You first of all have to like yourself and feel good about who you are individually. You have to be comfortable in your environment.”
Kanoza finally advises singles who are seeking love to keep looking and keep the faith.
“There are great [people] out there. They’re out there just like you..They’re doing the same thing, just like you,” said Kanoza.
With some patience, it could lead to something priceless.
Kanoza says “Once you’re in love and you have your best friend, and you know you’re gonna wake up to them for the rest of your life, and they are the one… it’s a life changing experience.”
For more on Matchmaker Michigan, click here.
